Dear 17-year-old me

So, it really doesn't get much more personal than this. I'm not going to spill my life's story all over the internet here, but in the spirit of re-introduction and reflection, here's a piece I wrote a while ago, based on Seventeen magazine's "Letters to the seventeen-year-old me" pieces they'd have in the back of their magazines.

Dear Anna,

So, this birthday was a lot better than the last one! Though I would never say it was fun spending it (and the weeks to come) recuperating from getting T-boned that morning, know that you are blessed with an incredible optimism that will blossom even further. Not many people would look back and say they were blessed to spend their sweet sixteen in a hospital, but you will continue to view it as so. Blessed you survived, and grew to know your own strength. You also lost 20 pounds and have kept it off, which you don't fully appreciate right now, but its pretty boss in a shallow way. Hey, we're human.

You just got back from Europe. You're missing your daily hit of fresh bread (heads up -- when you come back from Italy, it will, unbelievably, be the tomatoes you yearn for), beautiful castles, and the wonderful friends you made. You've met some of the loves of your young life (and no, not the friends -- who are no less wonderful and necessary even though you will find you've drifted from them). These loves go by names like The Thrill of Embarking to a New Place, The View from a Bus Window, and The Weird Ways Humans of All Cultures Are Oddly the Same.

You've done a wonderful thing by leaving home and being brave, and know that though you will go on to graduate from two wonderful schools with high honors and accolades, know that it will be your travels you consider your greatest accomplishments.

You've also cememted your bond with music. You will be unsure whether you want to continue, but after all that work relearning to play the flute, you better not give it up. You will worry that pursuing it will be putting too much on your plate. You will ignore that worry, and your life will be harder for it, and you will overload yourself because of it, and you will never regret it. Staying connected to music will change your life. You will do things and meet people you never would have elsewise.

Speaking of that other school you're going to graduate from -- you're currently embroiled in turmoil about what that will be. You're hitting your senior year wondering why you didnt do the million college tours the bright young set you belong to typically makes. It's okay. It just means you've spotted what you want. You won't get in, but that will be okay. Because you will be getting an offer from a place you never considered, were dragged to by your mom, that will change everything. You will be thrust into indecision, you will worry many times if you are settleing at this place. You don't know this yet, but you aren't. You will know soon enough. You will know when your last words to your grandpa are that you are attending his alma mater. You will know when you see the look in your Dad's face when he realizes his daughter will graduate college without debt. And you will certainly know when you work at the school paper, carry its colors in the marching band, meet professors who will change how you think, and the day you and your roomates stand in university park with your gowns on and your little brother keeping your cap from flying into the lake (in his favorite pinstripe suit). Unlike your high school cap, you'll keep a hold of this one :)

You've done pretty well for yourself, and I'm pretty sure you know this. You're weird, quirky, sometimes socially unacceptable and you dont care. Though you don't realize it now, you avoided the majority of teen drama and made friends who are mature, supportive, and who will help you grow. One day not too far from now, you will be looking at those who didnt avoid it so well, realize how stupid it is, and be so glad you loved your life in those days. But, hey, try flirting a little -- it really won't hurt you to get a little practice in. And know that the next five years will take you on a ride.


Gold Star to the awkward ones :)

System Reboot

Howdy!

I've been gone for a while....duh.  Part of it was an insane work schedule, part of it was a trip to Korea, and part of it was just failure-to-launch, what-am-I-doing-with-my-life/blog/career lethargy. But I've sorted it out, mostly. One needs to do that regularly, reassess things, go through your wardrobe/desk/future plans and discard those things that don't work any more. And my blog was part of that, to be honest. I felt it lacked a lot of direction, the schedule I was trying to uphold wasn't accomplishing what I wanted it to, and frankly, I was kind of doing it as a chore.

Part of the reason I started this blog was as a catalog of my... well... creative endeavors.  It was a tool to motivate me to finish projects. But it wasn't doing that job. It was a way to express my writing life, but I haven't really had one recently. Either way, it was a tool, and that isn't the right reason to have a blog. I guess it all came together when I read (this) wonderful article at a Beautiful Mess (probably the most successful blog I know). You have one because you want to share your life and ideas with the world, because you have a passion you want to share.

So, Following that article, things around here are going to change. I'm not going to delete everything that came before, but I am going to (re)start my blog with a bang. Part of my lifestyle is about writing and developing as a writer, and I have done some of that on this blog. I want people to see that, and I'm not afraid that things may have been a mess before. Mistakes help us learn and they will always be valuable to me for that.

1. Pick a personal theme.
 Originally my blog was based on creativity. Which, in reality, is unrealistic. I tried to fit writing, crafting, and everything else into one blog. I still am going to write on those things, but I'm going to ground it to "living a creative life." Because I don't just continually craft, like a lot of the craft bloggers I admire. I don't have a thriving free-lancing career, so I can't just be a professional writing blogger. I'm inspired, but I don't just want to share other people's things that inspire me. So I'm going to be me. I have so many ideas and passions and interests it's ridiculous. And I'm going to share them, and my creative life, because it doesn't get any more personal than lifestyle. Enjoy the ride :)

Maybe that doesn't refine it much for you, but I feel a new direction and focus. So maybe you'll just have to watch it play out :) Maybe it won't be that much different, overall, but I believe a shift in ideas always wins out.

I'll share the other steps or the article as things take shape.

Gold star to the reassesors