Tuesdays are for tangents

So, I've tried to keep this blog pretty focused, but the fact of my writing is that some of my best work is tangents. Those random streams of brilliance I get about toasters when I'm supposed to be writing a 4 page paper on the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the oddly lucid mental rant that shows up when I'm driving to the post office, and so on. Therefore, my writing is tangential, and ADD. Fact. So I've decided to embrace it and let myself outlet my tangents, and see what springs forth -- and, most importantly, amuses you.

This weeks tangent is in the form of an imaginary letter to Forever 21.

Disclaimer --if this sounds bitter, I assure you its not -- its ironic. Any pictures are entirely exaggerated for comic effect. Plus, I tend to make really ridiculous faces in photographs.

To whom it may concern,

I have been a loyal customer of your stores, and have had my procrastination heartily fueled by your website. I know there are some rumors circulating about your copying of designs, but my loyalty has been bought through the affordability and adorability of your versions.

And that is why I am writing today, to thank you for making the load of my wardrobe financially lighter. Not only is this achieved by your unbeatable savings, but by the fact that 85 percent of your apparel fails to fit me. If you threw in a few XLs, some pieces that accommodate a healthy tuchus, or something without a drop waist (the bane of every long-torsoed gal), I would be doomed to spend much more money at your stores. With the current setup, I can enter your dressing room with a dozen pieces, and only come out with one or two that tempt me. Your store makes it easy for me to budget AND get great trendy pieces.

I so enjoy shopping at your store, I want to share one of my recent adventures.

First I tried on this cute number.

(My "Is this a dress??!!!?? I'm afraid to turn around and check if my tuchus has escaped" face.)

Unfortunately, it was too short.

Then I found this delicate chiffon confection.

(Attack of the Secret Romper!!!! I hate it when they sneak up on me. Please ignore the fit problems, again, the long torso is a burden)

It was absolutely adorable, but the style didn't quite suit me.

Next, I tried a more minimalistic piece, for a change.

(Unless kindergarten utterly failed me, I'm pretty sure this isn't a shape. It's close to rectangular?)

The silhouette wasn't quite my style, unfortunately.

Next, I found a wonderful pair of quirky red shorts with suspenders. They fit wonderfully, but then I found...

(Holy exploding pleat, Batman!)

Unfortunately, they didn't quite make the mark. However, I found this wonderful dress to budget for, 

(all photos by me and my android, except this one, from F21)

and a few quirky jewelry items to refresh my wardrobe. Thank you, Forever 21, for making my style ambitions easy to afford. 

Sincerely, 

Anna

Gold Star to anyone who calls me out for being a hipster ;)